Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Hi every one
all my posts will be on this blog
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Thursday, May 17, 2007


We are loud, laughing out loud. Friends, the comedy show, is our favourite. Omar and I, today our colleague Scott joined us, watch three episodes at least (after work off course) and go off to bed with that big smile on our faces, actually tired of laughing.
by the way we keep laughing even sometimes for silly things, we just laugh for hearing the loud laughter of the man next to you. We forget the whole world for like an hour for the last few days.. and we do this from time to time and guys i think we are addicted to many shows (long story).
wish me luck, i am going back home to Fallujah, i mean to the wild wild west.. the place is going out of control.. or maybe it will be controlled before judgment day.
see u

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Poor Taxi Driver

When life becomes a dreadful nightmare you have nothing to hope but to wake up. How can I wake up when a reminder pops up out of the news, personal life and even more; from any person I meet every day or perhaps every hour.
The taxi driver that I am going to tell you about is an example.
Few weeks ago I was leaving my home town city Fallujah heading to Baghdad. I was saying to my self:
“Better or worse at least I can see something different”
It was a disparate attempt to convince my self that it will be a better life when I go back to work after a day off (usually I do have these arguments with my self.. crazy..eh.. whatever”.
Back to the man, the short version of his story is:
He has three sons… the elder one is Akram and two other kids.
Akram was killed with other civilians in one of the car bombs in Fallujah.
The second son went to his secondary school and never came back.
The third son, he is 16 years old, lost one of his eyes as he was buying something to his family from a mini-market not far away from his house and a passing by military convoy were targeted by a road side bomb and shrapnel injured the kid in the eye.
The real tragedy is the mother… he says she keep thinking when ever the door knocks especially after sunset that her missing son is coming back… she heard from someone that kidnappers usually release the hostages at night. The driver had to inform all his neighbors not to knock the door after sunset, his wife health deteriorate after she run to the main door and she finds out it is not her beloved missing son.
He was asking for help to treat his son eye… bitterly I couldn’t find any humanitarian organization that can help him… or maybe I didn’t search enough as I don’t have that much time to spare…
These men are amazing… how brave and patient they are… yet they give me the example and the will to continue living…

Monday, May 7, 2007

Can Not Understand

I am tired of needing a visa to go to my city… they require a badge to enter Fallujah and I hate this.. I mean by “they” the Marines… they make these badges, finger prints, eye-scans and more x-ray search when you enter the city adding to hand search for individuals and cars .
They can set checkpoints to search every one who is coming in and out instead of this miserable solution they came with… the ironic part, their tactic is not working. The city is not safe and road side bombs and snipers didn’t stop.
I can understand why all the countries are refusing to issue visas for Iraqis except for Syria and Iran they allow Iraqis to travel but I can not understand why I need that badge to enter my city.
Oh by the way, U.S and GB and all the allied countries categorize themselves as friends. Yet they don’t issue visas for Iraqis but the “enemies” are allowing Iraqis to visit their countries “easily”.

Friday, May 4, 2007


I have no idea what I can do about it… but I feel so bad about my self.. I feel I am full with frustration and sadness. I do laugh and share jokes but in fact I am sad.
When this will end, i wish i know….

Thursday, May 3, 2007

If it is true

I got a phone call minutes ago from one of our stringers northern Baghdad. he received a confirmation that the leader of Iraq Islamic State (the state that Al Qaeda radicals announced) have been killed in Baghdad tonight by gunmen from the Iraqi resistance.
His name is Muharib Abdullah Al Jubouri who used the name Abu Omar Al Baghdadi and apparently he is a master degree in law.
his neighbors in Al Dhulouaia town (north of Baghdad) identified him from his voice when the satellite channels like Al Jazeera air a sound track of him after posting it on their websites.
if it is come to be true, we will be the first to know...

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

fuel line

Today i saw this long fuel line. Hundreds of cars are waiting to get fuel, till now there is no surprise for me... what surprised me was where it starts? i couldn't guess.
the line goes into circles inside neighborhood, we followed the line and we found it is not one line.
it comes from three directions and finally unite in one line...
they will wait for at least 10 hours before getting the fuel, if they were lucky and then go back home and park their cars for a day off because we have a law allows the odd numbered vehicles (plate number) to travel in Baghdad in a day and the second day will be the even numbered.
so these men will have to park their cars tomorrow.
what a life!

Monday, April 30, 2007


I am not a frequent reader of literature but I read two quotes that I really liked and I want to share it with you. The first is for D.H. Lawrence
“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself”
The first thing I remembered as I read this was my cousin’s funeral, he was killed in Fallujah with his 7 friends (I don’t remember the final number but some of the injured died later) as they were preparing to play soccer and a road side bomb exploded killing them all. His father and the other families turned their funeral to a wedding. Candies and chocolates were distributed and they never felt self-pity. Every one was sad for the great loss and the sight of all these teenagers’ funerals leaving their homes in one street but no self-pity, I admire their bravery. They hate Al Qaeda, the occupation and militias and for me this is the attitude of true patriot Iraqis.
The second is of Virgil
“Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance”
The first face I remembered as I read this quote was of my father’s friend. His house was bombed by mistake (as the Americans apologized later to him) and killed his wife, his four sons and their wives and children (three of them were married and were killed along with their families).
He gave all the people an example of endurance and patience. I saw him once, six months after the incident and he was telling me and my friend to be patient and he was advising us to be more wise in facing life troubles… he astonished me for his greatness.
Looking at them and to the mothers who lost their sons and husbands and yet they are the ones who teach their society a lesson of how great people they are. Isn’t it amazing?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The misunderstanding… not solved but got deeper

I think in order to fully understand someone’s behavior and attitude we have to ask him about his childhood, school and the version of history that he knew (or have been told). Yes there are different versions of history and YES people attitudes are changed due to the version they know when it comes to history.
In Iraq wehave now three generations, the first is the one before the Iraqi-Iranian war (1980-1988). The second is the generation of war (those who actually fought and effected by the war directly) and the third is the after sanctions generation, after Saddam invasion for Kuwait (1990 and after). These generations have no separating lines, many people lived all the three and many remember only the sanctions and after.
The young men and women who only can remember the sanctions and after (1991 and after) have no idea of how normal life look like.
They have been raised in circumstance that many of you might know about… my point the majority of gunmen I hear about whether they were detained, killed or still acting are from that age.
We knew that time why we were suffering; Saddam, The U.S. administration and few other reasons.
That generatin were raised and told that the
After 2003 we woke up on a new equation
By substitution
Enemy = Friend
It made the biggest confusion among people, for my self I was lucky to meet good men in the army and journalists and before all of that a father who kept telling his family never think the people are the same of politicians and he used Saddam as an example, I mean we are not like Saddam.
Instead of clearing the confusion that many inherited they made it deeper.
I hope one day it will be solved and things will be clearer for both sides. I only hope…

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Bad News and cellphones

I don't have a cellphone anymore so i can avoid getting more bad news...but it is not working.
I am tired of being afraid of bad news, my phone rings and i am afraid the news will be "a friend or a relative is killed".
my brother is the only one who can call me, i gave him the office phone number and he checks on me every day whenever there is a cellphone network.
the most recent bad news were yesterday...
a neighbor of ours in Fallujah had a heart attack at 1 in the morning, it is curfew...
insurgents have bombed the landlines communications and cellphone towers (the coverage is so weak that you have to go to the second floor of the house and risk a near by American sniper hit thinking that you are up to something...and even by going to the roof of the house the cellphone network is not available all the time) so no one could make it and call for an ambulance or the police, who will not respond even if you called them being afraid of the terrorists who attacked ambulances and police cars that were carrying sick people to the hospital... once the police responded and took a pregnant woman to the hospital with her father and brother... an IED exploded killing the woman, her father and policemen.
The family and neighbors headed to the near by mosque (100 meters away) for help.
The Imam responded by turning the generators on and used the loudspeakers and asked the Iraqi police and army for help.... NO ONE RESPONDED...
The family watched their father die without receiving any help from any one....
God, i can not imagine being there.......
the other bad news before this one was my cousin Ali... he was killed with another 6 young friends (2 died later also) as they were playing SOCCER and an IED killed them all...
i am going to buy a cellphone again... it is not working...
The bad news will reach me even if I have only one person in Iraq who can call me... I have to live with it.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

The constitution... not any more

Today i talked to one of my friends... he is from Thawra (Sadr city now)... after congratulating each other for the new year and Eid, his wish was to have our old gatherings and laughter...
his words just rang a bell in my head.. years ago we were hungry, oppressed, living in a big prison and hopeless but we had each other Sunni, Shiite, Muslims, Christians, Arab and Kurds... we were more than friends WE WERE BROTHERS and agreed to hate the government... i know we are still brothers but we cant visit each other home now and most of us can not agree any more.
we can not live in many neighborhoods of Baghdad now, which neighborhood??? it depends whether you are Sunni or Shiite.
what a life!!!!!! i can not visit a friend that is no more than 30 kilometer (about 20 miles) away because that neighborhood is for the other sect.
he can not visit me as my city is the homeland of the other sect of his.
it make me feel sick to think about how savage we became.
Why they don't make it official in IRAQ
the government should make it official and the parliament must approve it immediately...
and the Iraqi people will dance and applause for it...
cancel the Constitution and replace it with Jungle Law ... WHY NOT???!!!... it is already the active law in the country...
why lying to ourselves and to the others...
WE ARE the only country on earth that can not keep security in the capital for 2 hours without imposing a curfew.
CURFEW ... CURFEW ... CURFEW.... every single incident the government will invent a new security plan...
and every time the security plan is imposing CURFEW and MORE checkpoints...
most of Baghdad's roads are blocked by concrete barriers and barb wires... hundreds of checkpoints... 40 thousands Iraqi army soldiers and thousands of American soldiers..
jet fighters, multinational forces, satellite images and dragon eye planes (surveillance)
What do they need more to keep security??????????????
ANGELS to fight with them????
the government hold the citizen responsible for any security breech in his neighborhood... the government hold the citizen responsible to provide electricity to himself ... the government hold the citizen responsible for providing fuel for him self... the government ... the government... long live the GOVERNMENT.
any way we don't need the government
we have MILITIAS
we have enough CLERICS
we have bad NEIGHBORS
we have trained CRIMINALS
and even more all the above have many ways to make money THEY CAN KIDNAP any time they want and WHO EVER they want (for example more than 147 employee from a ministry that is no more than 3 miles away from the government and the MNFI head quarters)
and above all, we have the government of MONKEYS...
and since all what we need to announce JUNGLE LAW is provided
then why waiting ......... cancel it.. announce the Republic of Jungle Law.. pack your things and go back to Iran, Syria and London... and leave us alone as you left us for the last 35 years...

Thursday, January 4, 2007

health care is becoming a rare luxury

Historical background (JUST KIDDING)... 3 days ago i was heading back to Baghdad from Fallujah and by chance i met one of my old friends at the bus station, he is a doctor, and he was heading to Baghdad also, so we took a taxi and said TO BAGHDAD. the road used to take about 30 minutes now it is between an hour to 4 hours, THANKS TO MILITARY CONVOYS AND IRAQI ARMY AND POLICE CHECKPOINTS, any way we were talking and catching up and all these things DID YOU GET MARRIED? was the main question THANK GOD, NO was the usual answer, then he told me he is leaving the country soon as he can not take it any more and he feels he is dying from the inside, imagine he is the doctor NOT THE patient. a month earlier another friend of mine, he is a doctor also, started to IM me and i said to him how is KUT city (One of Iraq's southeast cities) and then he answered I AM IN SUDAN now WHAT ?!!!! he left the country also...Back to my story, Today i had to go to see a doctor.... i went to Karada to Saint Rafael hospital or as we call it (Al Rahibat Hospital). it is a good hospital and well known in the country. the two specialist doctors that i have to see one of them had fled the country WELL it is OK, i said to myself, i know doctors are leaving the country so i headed to see another doctor near Salman Fa'eq square GUESS WHAT he fled also... i have one hour left to go back to my work and i have to do this fast and i am in pain, finally i found another doctor and he was good I AM LUCKY this time... the doctor smiled and said: you need to see a surgeon, i will refer you to one of the best surgeons and it is a minor surgery so you should be fine (HE SAW MY TERRIFIED FACE)... he gave me the address and thank God (Hamdu Lillah, in Arabic) the address was not far away I CAN GO and set an appointment, i have enough time. i went to the address and GUESS WHAT the surgeon have left the country few days ago.... i said to myself : you know what SCREW IT i am heading back to work and deal with this later.what about those who are injured by car bombs and terrorists attacks... what about their families... for my self i can afford it, i can go to any hospital that i want but the majority of the people can not... they are watching their beloved ones dying without being able to do anything to them (and that what happened to my Uncle a year ago... he died because of the doctors carelessness and his family ignorance).i bet those who die after sustaining injuries from a terrorist attack because of lack of medical treatment are more than those who die immediately.At the end of the day .... pain has gone after thinking that the future is so dark to the limit we might not find a doctor in a year or so to treat those who are in need.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Saddam's Excution

Hi every one... Eid Mubarak and Happy New Year (inshallah) especially for Iraqis (we need it)....
it has been long and tough year for each one of us (the Iraqis) for both who living in Iraq or abroad... the government (as they call them selves) wanted to end 2006 with a dramatic ending that made every one say WOW. IS THIS THE NEW IRAQ?!!! (by the way Saddam used the term NEW IRAQ also earlier 80's).
Sorry, lets go back from the beginning
i don't like Saddam... he is a dictator and he made his people (WE) suffer... are we clear? Hope so.
the new era that the Americans started in Iraq should be better then Saddam's... good so far
look to the execution, men covered their faces while the tyrant (SADDAM) refused... why they are afraid, aren't they represent the freedom that the Iraqi people always dreamed of (THIS IS WHAT THEY SAY, not me)?
Didn't they win the elections? Don't they represent the majority of the Iraqi people? or they don't(hmmmmmmmmmmmmm) amazing... because they say these things every day to the Iraqi people.
listen well to the execution... is this law and order? is this how it should be done? is the government that is building the NEW DEMOCRATIC FEDERAL IRAQ???????????????
well (with all bitterness) yes they ARE.
how pity... the new democratic IRAQ but with politicians that think there are no Iraqi people, they can not see but sects living in a country and they represent each sect, and the fact is... they don't.
Saddam has gone, and he succeeded in showing him self as a tough guy and they looked like bunch of barbarian people executing a guy who provoked their anger even when he was facing death telling them (IS THIS YOUR MANHOOD)... God damn it, Al Qaeda videos of brutal and savage executions are more organized than the government's...
Anyway (ala ay Haal, in arabic) i well get back to it later with you guys... IT WILL BE LONG LONG STORY.
today we had to work (and i guess i didn't do my best, i feel i am sick) and tomorrow apparently will be a long day we have stories to run after and hope we will make it.
wish you all luck